I Don't Know How to Talk to You: In Which I Go On A Date With a Dick

I have gone out on weird dates, internets.  I have gone out with weirdos, I have choked (literally) and I have chit-chatted my out of of awkwardness.  I have also watched thousands of television siutational-comedies (aka, sit-coms) where-in ladies go out with dicks.  Well, as of tonight, January 11, the year of our Lord 2013, I have now gona on a date with a dick.

This was the weirdest, most combative date I've ever been on.  This feller, BigRed, weirdly confronted me on every little thing I said, and then, on the rare occasion where I couldn't hold my tongue and called him out, he just said, "what? I'm just fucking with you!"  This kept happening, drink after drink (ok, for just 2 drinks).  By the time the waitress came to ask if we wanted another (our 3d) drink, I said yes for one reason, and one reason only: to see what other crazy shit this dude would say so I could tell you fools about it.  Well, the weird, contfontrational shit kept going.  This chap even went on to more or less mock me about what he percieved to be my "eagerness" to go out earlier this week.  This whole 2 hours/3 drinks we spent together came off, to me, as a man desperate to defend every sentence he uttered, including things said then, previously, and in the future. Also, I got the distinct impression that he severely disliked me. It was weird as weird can be.*  


Internet friends and family: I tried my damnest to laugh off all of his weird defensive statements, but, by the time we were standing outside the bar, parting ways, and he uttered yet another unnecessarily defensive statement, I simply replied with my honest feelings; "I don't know how to talk to you."  On that note, we parted ways.

Appendix: Things about which BigRed mocked me: owning a cat, doing yoga, camping, liking comedy,  and being annoyed he fell asleep the other night.

Really, dude?  Really?

WHAT THE BIG FAT FUCKITY FUCK (approximately 30 minutes after the conculsion of this bewildering date): BigRed just texted and said, "If you want to go out again, let me know."  Really?  Really?

*Weird not because I can't fathom a person disliking me, but rather, because he seemed to reject opportunities to end the date, and continued to belligerently mock me for no apparent reason other than his own personal amusement.