All About Joe: Bad-Drawing Ressurection

Joe.

I have recently been lucky enough to receive OKCupid messages from two decent-to-attractive gents.  However, in both cases, they have not replied to my reply.  Instead, I have received an initial message and several replies from a very large (tall and big from what I can tell, not particularly fat?) average looking fellow, Joe.  Joe happens to have terrible spelling skills, which is an acceptable trait - in 1984! when we didn't have spell check!  Jeez, spell check your profile and 2 sentence messages, fella.

Anyway, I overlooked this horrific flaw and we exchanged witty pleasantries several times until he suggested we meet for drinks in the near future.  I am babysitting tomorrow evening (I expect my sister to give me extra AAPs [Awesome Auntie Points] for Saturday night babysitting) and had no plans this (Friday) evening.  However, upon entering South Station to head home from work I was forced to make plans: with me, my couch and the box of thin mints I purchased from some young pigtailed ladies in the T-station.  So, I told Joe that this weekend wasn't going to work, but any other time would pretty much work (to be honest, I told him as much before the thin mint purchase, but I like to take artistic license to make myself sound more pathetic).  He suggested next Friday and offered to venture into my neighborhood for drinks.  I have to say, I get pretty stoked when dudes immediately offer to come to me instead of either suggesting I trek to their hood or we meet on neutral ground.  Anyone who unwittingly fosters my laziness is A-Ok in my book!  Anyway, we exchanged numbers and I took on the serious responsibility of making the plans.  We have a drink-date a week from today in sweet, sweet Somerville.

The other (one-time?) suitors and a BigRed update:

Charming McHandsomeFace: far more
attractive and far less douchey than this
drawing would suggest.

Charming McHandomeFace: Charming McHandsomeFace (He's almost so charming you'd think he was from Charm City!) messaged me.  I do not know why.  He is super handsome and bearded and his profile is funny and smart.  Not only that, but his message me to was extra witty and adorable.  This was two days ago, and I responded post-haste.  I have not heard back.  I'm beginning to piece this puzzle together: he accidentally messaged me thinking I was far more attractive than I actually am.  But hey, who knows?  Maybe he is that rare, rare gem who doesn't realize he is a dreamy babe and would actually consider going out with someone like me!  Or, maybe he's severely damaged in some not-immediately-apparent way or has twelve children and three ex-wives.  So many possibilities!


Scruffy McSmilesALot: I messaged the Scruffster because he loves Arrested Development (him and everyone else on OKC, its sooooo 2009 to be obsessed with it) but was also very adorable and scruffy. After several days, and an assumption on my part that he was ignoring me, he replied!  Again, I replied.  Since then, nothing.  So, again, many possibilities: perhaps he was just being nice by replying to me; perhaps he thought he was replying to someone cooler and more attractive; perhaps he is just super slow at this whole interwebs thing and will actually get back to me.  Hard to say, internet, so hard to say.

In other news, BigRed asked me out again.  After I failed to reply to his last 3 texts and his latest OKC message.  I really just wanted to reply with, "nope" but I'm afraid he's going to be like that Bad-Breaker-Upper on Seinfeld and tell me I have a giant head or something.  Normally I'm a fan of being straight forward and just plainly turning a chap down.  But in this case, I experienced a (likely irrational) fear that, because he's a dick, BigRed would respond to such a rejection with some unwarranted insult.  So, I just said "this weekend is no good" and he replied "gotcha."  I really hope he meant that and he got the point.  Either way, I'm still super curious as to the specific form of the alternate reality in which that date was anything less than horribly uncomfortable.  Oh well, good stories, right!? And finally, I've provided one of my most accurate caricatures yet:

BigRed.