All About: An Expiration Date, and some other irrational thoughts

It looks like he has an early puberty 'stache

So, this Friday marks my triumphant return to first-date-dom, after a nearly two week hiatus involving much illness of a very mild, but trying, nature.  My Expiration Date with Mr. Hyde is so titled because, according to his profile, he is a soon-to-be-finished graduate student who may or may not be leaving the fair city of Boston in the next several months.  And, based on my experience with graduate students of not-overly-saturated fields of study, I am willing to bet he already has a post-doc or job lined up and has simply failed to update his profile to that effect.  In other words, he's likely outta here in May and therefore, I am approaching this as an expiration date.

I don't really know much about Mr. Hyde, other than what I mentioned above about his current professional path and that he is either really dorky or really cute.  He has two pictures: in one he embodies the stereotype of nerdy MIT nerd, in the other he looks kind of dreamy and outdoorsy.  So, I have no clue what to expect.

I'm a horrible artist, but this is meant to be the
more attractive version of Mr. Hyde

In other news, I'm an insane person.  I have this completely absurd mental process by which I rank my celebrity crushes based on the likelihood (however small) that I could actually end up with said celebrity.  So, while I love me some Jon Krasinski, he is a. married and b. super famous - two factors working towards an inevitable probability* of, approximately, 0.02%.  I typically lose my celeb-crush as soon as a celeb gets married, and the closer they are to such a state, the weaker the crush becomes.  Jason Segel has always been near the top of my list, in part because, for some reason, he isn't married.  But, he dates Michelle Williams now and, obviously, she is amazing and beautiful, and knowing he can get chicks like that reduces my previous percentage (which was obviously very low to begin with) to nearly zero.  The whole point of this maniacal ramble is that one of my biggest celebrity crushes of the last few years, the one who was probably the MOST likely famous dude to become my hubby, is going to have to drop off my list very soon.

Let me explain.  First, the percentage likelihood of me and this fella ending up together has always been very small, but, much, much higher than the likes of Jason Segel.  Second, I hold no delusion that we would ever end up together, but a girl has to have a fantasy boyfriend, right?  Finally, before I head into she-should-be-committed territory, I will note that I realize this sounds mental.  It is mental.  But I am mental and the following legitimately bummed me out for about 5 minutes.

Ok.  I have mentioned Mr. Peter Holmes very briefly before.  He is one of my favorite comedians/podcasters.  He is from Lexington, Massachusetts, a town mere miles from my current residence.  He is very tall and funny.  He is a stand-up comedian, and I saw him in Boston several months ago.  He has a very popular podcast but he isn't a household name by any means.  He prefers the curvy ladies.  He seems super weird.  These factors make his percentage - while still very low - way higher than any other celeb crushee of mine.  I could have easily met him at that stand-up show, but I was on a damn date so that didn't happen.  The point is, while it is incredibly unlikely that he would ever fall in love with me, you can almost see that its POSSIBLE that such a thing could happen, and in my psychotic brain, that put him right at the top of my list.  I also find him irresistibly funny and adorable.  Well, Mr. Charming Charmington went and got his talk show picked up by TBS and he will be, as of this fall, the host of a talk show immediately following Conan.  He will become famous and much more of a household name.  He will perform stand-up far less frequently.  He will rarely come to Boston and he will not have the opportunity to gaze into my puppy-dog eyes and fall in love with me.

In other, happier news, we are having a guest date-ster (date poster) soon!  I'm super excited, and you should be too, because, really, aren't you sick of me?