All About: An Expiration Date, and some other irrational thoughts

It looks like he has an early puberty 'stache

So, this Friday marks my triumphant return to first-date-dom, after a nearly two week hiatus involving much illness of a very mild, but trying, nature.  My Expiration Date with Mr. Hyde is so titled because, according to his profile, he is a soon-to-be-finished graduate student who may or may not be leaving the fair city of Boston in the next several months.  And, based on my experience with graduate students of not-overly-saturated fields of study, I am willing to bet he already has a post-doc or job lined up and has simply failed to update his profile to that effect.  In other words, he's likely outta here in May and therefore, I am approaching this as an expiration date.

I don't really know much about Mr. Hyde, other than what I mentioned above about his current professional path and that he is either really dorky or really cute.  He has two pictures: in one he embodies the stereotype of nerdy MIT nerd, in the other he looks kind of dreamy and outdoorsy.  So, I have no clue what to expect.

Happy St. Hallmark's Day! Date Recap and Some Love Related Articles

Date Recap: Dudley Do Right Edition: Dinner, chit-chat, me awkwardly bringing up that I have pink-eye.  Also, here's a really good example of how awkward and weird I am on first-dates:
(I don't exactly remember the discussion that precipitated this gem, but let me make one up for demonstration purposes)
DDR: Yah, so my friend and her roommates bought a new stove but the landlord is such a dick that she had to practically beg him to put it in.
Me: Oh I bet that phrase comes up all the time!  Not!
DDR: Oh, rimshot. (imagined internal monologue: "oh, this is just the girl I want to take home to meet my parents")

So, between the (previously, not at the time of the date) communicable disease and my gutter-mind Tourrets  I bet Diddums (HP reference, get with it) can't wait to take me out again.  I also thought about how this ties back to openly displaying the evolutionary disadvantages I apparently suffer from, so now its not only an inability to chew and swallow life-sustaining food without a brush with death, but also an inability to fight off infection of such important organs as eyeballs.

Bucking Trends, Eschewing Advice

I look bemused, I blame it on the gnarly eyeball.

So I'm going out to dinner with Dudley Do Right tonight.  I have a ganky eye; it basically appears as though I'm super stoned in one eye and bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the other.  It was really fun at work all day with people physically backing away from me at the mention of pink eye.  Listen, co-workers, I'm no dummy, I didn't come in to work contagious.  Psh.  Anyway, I'm producing a photo of myself so all can judge whether or not this is a bad idea.  I don't think it's THAT noticeable.  Now the past two days, that was another story.

Ok, the Dudster is skinny and has tattoos, continuing my trend of going out with skinny dudes.  Turns out some skinny dudes dig a non-skinny lady.  We will see how it goes.  We are getting dinner because (according to his profile) he does not imbibe alcoholic beverages, which is the primary activity comprising my first date of choice.

Schmidt is a "Mess" and Other Updates

Schmidt: Reasons I liked him: He's funny and fun to hang out with, he's attractive, he's "cool" and I thought he was too good for me but he seemed to like me anyway.  We hung out at my house on Monday evening.  He greeted me with an enthusiastic hug and then we sat around chit-chatting and watching TV.  We also became somewhat intoxicated.

After at least 2/3 of a Pixar film, I basically insisted we make out; he obliged.  However, perhaps because of the intoxication and late-night-ness of the moment, or perhaps because one or more of us wasn't that into it, or who knows what, the making out was not nearly as fun as it was the first time :(.  Anyway, we hung out til late and then I kicked him out.  The following afternoon, I received a text from ol' Schmidty saying, and I quote "Hey sorry if I was bein weird last I'm just kind of a mess/have been kind of a mess lately."  I responded saying that I was sorry to hear that, and, if he's ok with it could he please explain why he was a mess.  He replied with what should have been incredibly predictable, "Just the usual ex stuff.  Shitty cliche but accurate."  Pshhh.  The end.


Michael Cera:  I never fully described my Shy Canadian but he really doesn't require any description.  After a brief coffee date and a depressing movie date, MC asked me out for dinner.  I replied with,

"Hey MC, thanks for the invite but I'm not actually interested in going out again.  It was nice to meet you!"

I find in situations like this it is less painful for all involved to rip the rejection bandaid right off rather than the slow peel of repeated blowing-off and eventual ignoring.  Still, I always feel like a bit of a douche when I send these texts.  Well, MC pushed me right on over into feeling like a full-on-douche.  He replied with,

"That's disappointing and a bit unexpected, but I appreciate your unambiguous response."

Well played, sir.  Very direct and also a bit unexpected.

Mr. Manners: First Date Recap

I went out with Mr. M Friday night.  Following is a recap of the events that took place over approximately 4 hours, but mostly we just drank and chatted.

I saw Mr. Manners first, as he arrived at our agreed upon destination prior to me.  I was not attracted to him based on first impression.  We went to a different location immediately because my first choice was over crowded with the 50+ crowd, much to my surprise.  The second choice establishment was rather empty so we sidled up to the bar and tucked into a couple'a drinks.

Mr. Manners is funny and smart.  He was genuinely a joy to hang out with.  I drank too much (doesn't take much) and wound up blathering on like the moron that I am.  After realizing I needed to take it easy, I alternated between beer and water and tried to not to say idiotic things (probably unsuccesful).

So, by the end of the night I found Mr. Manners approximately 45% more attractive based on a combination of his sense of humor and alcohol.  Don't ask me for the breakdown because I can't break that down.  However, at the end of our date he gave me a really weird, brief, tight-lipped kiss.  That reduced the attraction by 2-3%.  But, as he was polite and funny, I would enjoy going out with him again.  He said he wants to, but that don't mean squat - all the boys say that.

Now, this Sunday afternoon, I am going on a second date with the Canadian physicist.  I don't particularly want to but he was so shy and dorky that I couldn't say no when he asked me out again. We're just going to the movies so I think I'll survive.

I've also continued to text back and forth regularly with Schmidt. Chances are incredibly slim that we will ever actually date.  But, he has been apologetic about his continued unavailability; he even apologized for "being a douche" and insists he has been a mess lately.  He seems sincere in his desire to get together, but who knows.  We will just have to wait.